my bffs'.. lurve dem 4eva...

eventhough we have changed and we are all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we will come 2 each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we are still friends and willl remain the same forever.. thank you gurls for being there for me in all my bad times.. lurve u all!!

my own culture?

what is my culture??
what did my family did most of the time that can resemble my culture?
well, the most of my family did is only ABOUT FOOD!!!!!!!!
our culture is about food. YUMMY SUPER DELICIOUS FOOD..
yuppzz!! it is only about food...
My mum is a great cook.. but she she only cook once awhile but once she start cooking she will cook for 10-20 people's food. ( Noted : my family only have 5 members =)) But, of course not the 5 of us finish up the whole food that she cook of course. She will be one of the Santa Clause (except it is a Food Santa Clause) and give a bowl or a plate of her dishes to my neighbors, or my relatives will come to have the yummy delicious food. Normally, neighbors, my family, my cousins will gather up just for food and it is a tradition. We go back to our hometown also just for food. During the Chinese New Year, what we do basically is only a bout FOOD!! (haha)
Breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper including tea time wouldn't be missed!!
My grandmother also a great cook so all her daughter and sons, including in-laws and her grandchildren will be feed with whole lots of foods and dishes. So in my culture, we actually LIVE TO EAT.. not we eat in order to live =).
No matter when, or where, or even time we can eat and feast at any time we want because our life is only about.

p/s - I know i grow bigger and larger because of my mum and my grandma =)

Types of Relationships: Friendship

Friendship is defined as rule-governed relationship that parties enter into by choice and it is an interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard.

The types of friendships are:

*Reciprocity, characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.
*Receptivity, characterized by a comfortable and positive imbalance in the giving and receiving of rewards; each person's needs are satisfied by the exchange.
*Association, a transitory relationship, more like a friendly relationship than a true friendship

Friendships serve a variety of needs and give us a variety of values, among which are the values of utility, affirmation, ego-support, stimulation, and security. It demands vary from between collectivist and individualist cultures. Women share more and are more intimate with same-sex friends than are men. Men's friendships are often built around shared activities rather than shared intimacies.

P/S: Dang! Can't upload any pictures.

MY SELF CONCEPT.....

Everyone sees who I appear to be, but only a few know the real me. You can only see what I choose to show, there is so much more you don’t know…..

Others see me as very friendly, loud sometimes, love shopping, cheerful. Some people even say I am very arrogant girl, talk sarcastically, secretive. This is what known to others and me. This is people’s perception about me. Well some are true and some are not…..

I am a friendly girl, but not to everyone. I am always careful with the people I mix around with. I always care about other people’s feelings; I make sure that I don’t hurt anyone. Even when it comes to help, if someone were to come and ask me for a favor I can never say no, unless I really can’t do it. That’s me, but not everyone knows this….

There is a lot more about me that not everyone knows…
I am not a girl who really socializes with everyone. I prefer to stay at home most of the time, be by myself in my room. I am a very secretive person and I give more importance to love and care, but not everyone realize this. If someone is nice to me I will be extremely nice to them, but if not… it will be the opposite side.

When we did this self concept thing in our class where we have to write about our self; our open pane and hidden pane… it was me the one who wrote “forgives but never forgets”… no one was able to guess it was me… until now… ;)

POWER

Power is the ability to influence the attainment of goals of an individual or a group. Power is not a characteristic of any one individual; rather, it is defined in terms of relationships and transactions between people. Power is crucial to the achievement of individual goals, the resolution of conflicts, and to communication competency within a group. Ways people give up their power are by being over-polite, backing down from an argument, using a title (such as Doctor or Professor) when addressing another, allowing interruptions when speaking, and specific clothing choices can also suggest a loss of or way people give up power to others. A power resource is something that either helps with or hinders the achievement of goals.

Types of power:
Referent power
- Is based upon the identification with the person who has the resources, or the desire to be like that person. It could be regarded as imitative power, which is often seen in the way children imitate their parents. Referent power derives from your subordinates’ identification or association with you. You have this power by simply being "the chief." People identify with the ideals you stand for. The chief has a pre-established image. You can enhance that image by exhibiting charisma, courage, and charm. An improved image increases your referent power. Always be aware of how others will perceive your actions. A negative image in the eyes of others will lessen your power and render you ineffective. Maintain a positive image!

Legitimate power
– Is based on agreement on commonly held values which allow one person to have power over another person, for example an older person or one who has longer service or is seen to be charismatic. Legitimate power comes from the authority of your rate and position in the chain of command. You use this power in day-to-day business. Although legitimate power increases with added responsibilities, you can decrease that power if you fail to meet all of your responsibilities.

Expert power
– Is based upon one person perceiving that the other person has expert knowledge of a given subject and is a recognized authority in a given situation e.g. the engineer in a building project. Expert power comes from your knowledge in a specific area through which you influence others. You have expert power because your subordinates regard you as an expert in your rating. Subordinates may also have this type of power. When you combine expert power with other types of power, you will find it an effective tool in influencing others. However, when you use it by itself, you will find it ineffective.

Coercive power
- This enables a person to mediate punishments for others. For example, to dismiss, suspend, reprimand them, or make them carry out unpleasant tasks. Coercive power results from the expectation of a negative reward if your wishes are not obeyed. For example, suppose you have counseled a subordinate twice for minor infractions of regulations. At the third counseling session, you threaten the subordinate with NJP. At the next occurrence of the un- desirable behavior, you place the subordinate on report. Coercive power works, but is not the preferred method of leading subordinates. It works best if used when all else fails and you feel sure you can carry through with a threat. Before giving a threat, you should have some insight as to how the CO will handle the case. You do not want to recommend maximum punishment only to have the CO dismiss the case at mast.

Information Power
- When an individual has information that the others cannot easily access. Informational power depends on your giving or withholding of information or having knowledge that others do not have. Use informational power when giving orders to subordinates. Give orders in such a manner that your subordinates presume the order originated at your level.

Reward power
- Extent to which an entity can control the dispensing of rewards or benefits. Reward power stems from your use of positive and negative rewards to influence subordinates. Positive rewards range from a smile or kind word to recommendations for awards. Negative rewards range from corrective- type counseling to placing a person on report.

Punishment power
- Shows that use and effects of punishment are significantly altered by average levels of reward power and punishment power in power-dependence relationship. The power-balancing effect of punishment is most likely to occur when an actor lacking reward power has punishment power that is stronger in relation to the other actor's punishment power but that is weaker in absolute strength.

Significance of Silence

Silence is a relative or total lack of audible sound.

Silence is complex.It is used in music,debate,law,spiritually,commemorative silence and complete silence.It communicates important meanings.

Silence allows:

i)The speaker time to think and to formulate his thought into coherent words(verbal communication)

ii)The receiver is allowed time to prepare or anticipate the message

For further reference:http://www.ablongman.com/samplechapter/0205353908.pdf

Please do take time to look at it.

Sometimes,silence can make you feel uncomfortable.Admittedly silence makes me feel uncertain of myself(because there may be no clear instructions given on how I should conduct myself).There is a saying that goes "silence can be deafening".It reveals a silence or lack of response that reflects something significant, such as disapproval or a lack of enthusiasm.

Significance of TIME (social clock)

Have you ever felt pressured to conform to society's conventions?If you have,then what You experienced is a need to abide by the social clock(socially define time).

Every society is age-graded,and every society has a system of social expectations concerning age-appropriate behaviour.When an individual reaches a certain age,he is expected to be on "time" in meeting certain expectations that his particular social group has place on him.

For instance,there are people who at say, when they reached the age of 25 would start to feel the "need" to get married(Bless those poor souls).

Certainly,it would be easy to say that all you need to do is to defy society conventions.But for those who are in this predicament,I can only pray for you and that God will give you the grace to be gracious to those 'aunties' who constandly live in fear that your ovaries are drying up(please excuse the crudeness) and that you are long past child-bearing phase.You feel like singing her the britney spears's song "my prerogative".But she is still your aunty,you must grit your teeth and be polite.

So what happens if you actually succeed in not succumbing to the pressure of marrying?(NEVER EVER marry for the sake of marrying,maybe you can pull a marriage 'stunt' for a few days,but for a lifetime*breaks out in sweat*,i do not think so).Unless,you move to Papua New Guinea,chances are that you are likely to still see your 'aunties' when you meet for social events.

I think there will certainly come a time when the pressure has lessen(maybe,a glimmer of hope that they have given up on you).

But you know for certain that your life is in God's hand and that He holds your future.