MY SELF CONCEPT....

I am writing a paper on how our self concept is derived from society, and the roles that we play. I am a very friendly preson....loves to make friends..but at times I am very choosy...especialy food vice...because of this my mum n me always quarrel..I love Western foods and Chinese foods..and things are not that spicy.....I am very secretive person because I dont like to share sarrow part of my life to others plus I dont want them to be sad..even happy moments I dont share too..I like to keep things within myself....I am a good listener..but I seldomly give feedback because I feel sometimes people will accept it sometimes dont....so I keep to myself....I love to dance indian classical dance..I get angry very fast can say short tempered....I like to think things out of the box...not the same old procedure....try something new...Not hurting people by talking rude is something I am...I am very sensitive person take things seriously sometimes and get hurt easily....thats all my self concept i guess so...

SHARON..SHARON..SHARON...

Sharon was a wonderful young girl...It is must unfortunate for all of us to lose such an amazing person...Myself and many others will never forget her...her laughs...the way she used to called the lecturers "teacher"...I cannot begin to imagine how this tragic turn must meke us feel....but please allow me to express my most sincere sympathy...Sharon will always have a special place in the hearts of many....Words can offer no true meaning in the face of such sadness...I heard the teardrop hit my pillow before I even knew I was crying......I am thinking that Sharon have a big hug again in Heaven where we will go later.....

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. Sharon thinking of you....hope your resting comfortably........She will truly be missed...

SALANGAI......

What is salangai? Salangai is something like anklet but in a bigger version where it is wear by the people who is dancing indian classical dance (bharatanatyam). There is 2 types of salangai,cloth and leather made. The salangai was worn by Lord Shiva during his recarnation to the earth. Where he dance the Rudra Thandavem in Sithirabam,India.

But thosedays people will wear this salangai for reduce tiredness because they use to walk very far.Which means thosedays there is no vehicle and transport so they normally walk all the way to reach their destiny.Therefore by using salangai,there is a rythm and sound when you move your legs so this makes them not to feel the tiredness so much hearing to the bytes. Even nowdays their use salangai for thaipusam where people who take up kavadi thir will wear salangai so they dont feel that much tired.

Salangai pooja is usually done when one has learnt Bharatanatyam for a few years and attained a good handle on talam. One is not allowed to wear their Salangai and perform until after the salangai pooja. On a Vijaya Dasami day, the family and friends get together at a temple, where pooja is done for the new salangai and the guru offers the same to the students.Then, the students wear their salangai for the first time and present a mini recital.

For reference, the nadais in dance are counted like so:
Chathushram (4)Thakadhimi Thakajhanu
Thishram (3)Thakita Thakita
Mishram (4+3)Thakadhimi Thakita
Khandam (5)Thaka Thakita
Sankeernam (4+5)Thakadhimi Thaka Thakita

THAIPUSAM IN PENANG 2009

Hindu devotees in Malaysia celebrated Thaipusam to mark the birth of Lord Murugan by going to several temples in the country, one of it is Penang Thanimalai Temple which I went there to celebrate this years Thaipusam.This event took 3 days which wll be on the 7,8 and FEB 2008.

7 FEB 2009

On the 7th that is called CHETTIPUSAM which means the CHETTIAR caste will celebrate on these day. But those days only the chetty will celebrate but now this have change everyone can celebrate. This night also the chairot from Thainimalai Murugan temple will bring Lord Murugan down the hill to the town. This is because Lord Murugan will come to the town to visit all the devotees and to grant their wishes. The devotees also will take up Kavadi on this night.

What is Kavadi? "Kavadi" appears to be a word of Tamil origin - a combination of the words 'kavi' and 'adi'. 'Kavi' means 'saffron' implying asceticism and 'adi' means 'foot' signifying pilgrimage. Taken together the significance of the word is very clear. The devotee takes a vow to live the life of an ascetic for a particular period and then, as the culmination, travels to the temple of Muruga by foot, bearing that symbol of purity - the "Kavadi."There are different kinds of "Kavadi" of which the most prevalent are " Annakkavadi", and "Palkavadi". "Annakkavadi" entails the devotee going barefoot from house to house, begging for food, not with the motive of satisfying his own hunger, but as offering to the Lord and his devotees. This custom helps in inculcating humility in the devotee who has to beg for food, whatever his social standing may be. In "Palkavadi" the devotee begs for milk, which is ultimately offered to the Lord and His devotees. There are several variations in the idea, but the basic objective is to destroy the devotees's ego, so that he comes nearer to Divinity.

On this night devotees is less compare to the day of thaipusam. Along the road to the temple we can see thaneerpanthal which means devotees put up tents and gives away free food and drinks for the crowd.The people who set up the thaneer panthal also start work well before Thaipusam. The design, the structure and the decorations are all drawn well before hand and the panthals are in many cases superb engineering feats.A statue of a deity takes centrestage in all thaneer panthal. The colourful lights make for brilliant panthals at night and add to the gaiety, not to mention the huge loudspeakers and the deafening music.

8 FEB 2009

This on the day of Thaipusam. Where the population people on this day is higher compare to the previous day. More kavadis and devotees with piercing around their bodies.

A man with pircings and skewers through his face enters a trance during the Thaipusam festival.According to another legend Lord Shiva and Parvati were involved in a cosmic dance on the Thaipusam day. It is said that all the gods assembled to watch this cosmic dance.

Along the roads also we can see people selling all types of things such as Gods pictures, songs and sweets etc.All the devotees normally who is taking kavadi or palgodam will wear yellow colour dress or dhothi.

9 FEB 2009

Which the day where the chairots will go out again to the town. This when people will break coconuts along the roads. As many as they want to. Then Lord Muruga will be back to Chetti temple where he is belongs from,which means the Lord Muruga statue belongs to the Chetti people.

Johari's window & I

The Johari Window, named after the first names of its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is one of the most useful models describing the process of human interaction.

It is a way of showing how much information you know about yourself & how much others know about you.

Open Pane-Things that is known to yourself and to others.
I love reading.
Hidden pane-Things that is known to myself but not others.
When I read,i am oblivous to other stuff that is goind on around me.(Most of the time,when I get 'sucked' into the book.) Reading is like an escape (I get to sort of 'tune-out')for me. Here is a little secret,sometimes I hide my books cause I am not really allowed to read when I am supposed to do my work.So if you were to come into my room and open my closet expecting to see clothes,a book might fall out.
Blind pane-Things that is known to others but not to myself.
A friend once told me,when I read,I am so into my book,that I do not pay attention when people talk to me.So sometimes, I do come across as being rude.
Unknown pane-Things that is not known to me or others.
Haha.This is the time when I can predict what will happen in near future.
I would love to see myself travelling around the world,and with a walk-in wardrobe,so huge the size that it looks like my personal heaven of clothes.(I might as well wish that I owned queenbay or gurney) and I would also go to Africa and third world countries for mission trips.Who knows?O yea!And not forgetting a whole collection of books to last me a life time.
Here is the intearactive Johari Window which you guys can do.http://kevan.org/johari.Have fun!

Lesson 6, Feb 12 2009

The self is the individual person, from his or her own perspective. To you, self is you. To someone else, self is that person.(Taken from Wikipedia,The Free Encyclopedia)
In my interpretation,the above means I am myself(I am starting to be afraid that this is going to turn into one episode of soul searching).
The Essence of oneself are body,brain(mind/intelligence),character,experience,gender,human,human condition,identity,person,personality,skill,virtue,and wisdom.(Taken from wikipedia,The Free Encyclopedia)
I feel comforted knowing that even if i had a look-alike going about her daily business now somewhere at the opposite end of the world,based on the above description I know that I am myself based on my own thoughts,personality,my own life experiences,character and the way I carry myself and interact with the people around me.
Self-Constructs(just a few)
Self-Concept/self-identity-It is the knowledge about one self,such as beliefs regarding personality traits,physical characterictics,abilities,values,goals and roles.
According to self-costruct I would define myself as a female(duh!) with curly hair,reasonably big eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses(the glasses are a sham to make me look intelligent,occasionally,I do wear contacts,when I am not lazy),I do wish I had a sharp pointed nose instead of a round,not so sharp one(but come to think about it,I would look like Michael Jackson if I had a pointed nose,no pun intended here).I am quite a happy person but I do have quite a formidable temper which I regularly try to quash,sometimes to no avail. One of my goals in life is to go as far as I can,especially in my education. I am a fairly open-minded person but I do draw lines when my morality is at stake. I live my life based on these commandments:Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strenght and Lord your neighbor as yourself.
Self-awareness-one exists as an individual, separate from other people, with private thoughts. It is a self-conscious state in which attention focuses on oneself. It makes people more sensitive to their own attitudes and dispositions.
I am an individual with different needs and my response may vary when compared to others.For example,I am aware of my blatant phobia towards messes,dirt or a room being in disarray while my brother seems to find joy in living in something that closely resembles a war zone.
Self-esteem-a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth.
This is a constant struggle in my life,I am gradually learning to love myself.I am not only learning to take pride in what I do well but also to see myself as a wholesome being,as God's creation.

Benice's perspective

Hello,we are all suppose to blog about culture. But,the catch is....we have to personalise it.(eg.talk about your own culture).So i shall now endeavour to talk about my own culture.

I know i brought gold/green bangles to class on Friday.But then,come to think about,not all of my family wears bangles(*visualises my dad with colourful bangles on his wrist and *shudders*).So instead of blogging about bangles,i shall talk about PRESENTS!

As we all know during Christmas time,most people would give or received presents. As much as Christmas is my favourite season of the whole year,i still dread the 'stress' and frenzy of buying gifts for people.Please do not get me wrong,i am not scrooge.I just do not look forward to the search of finding the "right" gift for my friends and family. I also have myself to be blame,as i always leave my 'gifts searching'(more like hunting) to the very last minute.After that,i will experience a very traumatizing(okay,I am exaggerating) shopping spree(actually,that is not the word for it),scurry,is the more accurate word to be used in this context.
Despite all these,I still love the spirit of christmas. It is so much more about giving,sharing and most importanly,loving. wI am sure that most of you have heard of the saying,"It is the thoght that counts".Admidtedly,I do have my favourite presents.But then,Christmas is a time when i remind myself of what really counts in life. The thought that someone when through so much hassle and bustle to make sure i received something I like just warms my heart and that someone actually took time to wrap my presents(I do not usually wrap presents,I do not see the point since they are going to open it anyway,might as well save them the hassle).I am reminded of the basics in life that is to cherish and value the people you love.
Anyway,that is why i love presents,it encompasses so much.Anyway,who doesn't love presents?

A second edition of Chap Goh Meh

this post is a bit special and this post is about Bubur Cha Cha.
Enjoy!
=)

I was not in Penang during the past weekend so I could not make it to the Thaipusam festival. And I could not celebrate Chap Goh Meh because there was a death in my family ; my grandmother. So basically, I could not get hold of anything. But I decided to use this. Bubur Cha-Cha is usually made for the Chap Goh Meh festival.
So with no oranges or tangerines to throw here goes my Bubur Cha-Cha recipe.

Bubur Cha-Cha Recipe

Ingredients

300 gms sweet potato - the orange variety

300 gms yam

100 gms pearl sago

1 can of ready cooked red beans

500 gms of grated coconuts

Sugar syrups

2 to 3 pandan leaves

Method

1. Washed and cubed the sweet potato and yam. Steamed separately till cooked for about 10 minutes. Keep aside to cool.
2. Then add 1/4 cup of water to the grated coconut and squeeze out some thick milk in a muslin cloth. Add a pinch of salt to the thick milk and keep aside in fridge.
3. Then add 6 to 8 cups water to the squeezed grated coconut. Mix well and squeeze out the diluted milk in a muslin cloth or fine strainer. Put the milk in a big pot.
4. Together with the knotted pandan leaves and sugar syrup to boiled for about 5 minutes (if you do not have sugar syrup, just add in some sugar).
5. Cook the sago by washing it in running water in a fine sieve before putting it in a pot of boiling water to cook till transparent. Strained and wash under running cold water again to prevent it sticking together before adding it to the pot of boiling coconut milk.
6. Together with the cooked sweet potatoes, yam and red beans. (I boiled some colourful tapioca slices which I bought ready made from the market)
7. Lastly add in the thick coconut milk. Stir evenly under gentle heat. At the first sign of boiling, removed from heat immediately to prevent the thick coconut from curdling.
8. Served hot or cold.

p/s - Bubur Cha Cha is well known as a special desert during Chap Goh Meh but of course, during normal day also we can eat it. Well everyone, have fun cooking it =)

Lesson 2, 16 Jan 2009

COMMUNICATION DEVICES ( process)

sender- the person who sent the message
reciever- the person who got the message
ancode - ideas in the head or our thoughts
eg: you never come to class
just in mind never tell it out,running in the mind
the way we say it in a different way
tone differents and actions
email and telephone
decode - interprate it differently
eg: just tell her you look nice
but in the mind you look ugly
feedback- different perpestive

3 types of noises

EXTERNAL NOISE - from outside base
eg: bus,loud music
INTERNAL NOISE - inside our mind
eg: thinkingin the mind
SAMETHIC- words not suite to our action, verbal and actions opposites
eg: telling something funny very seriously

Types of feedbacks
POSITIVE - compliments
eg: your speech is nice
NEGATIVE - adjustment,criticize
eg: you should upgrade your speech
PERSON FOCUS MESSAGE- more to outfeed (not the content)
eg: you look nice
IMMEDIATE - feedback on the spot
DELAY - later,answer given take time
eg: assignments
LOW MONITORING - no thinking about it
answer fast
honest
HIGH MONITORING - take time to think
carefully construct
FEED FOWARD - giving some preview before getting feedback
eg: assignmnets giving proposal

PHITIC COMMUNICATION
open the channel of communication
eg: newly meet just say hi
talk for the sake

DISCLAIM MESSAGE
trying to defend self before start to message
before people jugde us
eg: I went to USA,but i am not boasting up

ALTERCAST
saying in the specific roles
eg: as a doctor I am not allowed to dance in the pub

DISCUSSION IN THE CLASS
relationship
types of relationship
share the experience of the one who is in a relationship

Lesson 1, 15 Jan 2009

On our first class with Miss Cheryl,we learned about relationships(I think that is the name of the main topic).

She started of with the question:What do u guys know about dyads?

Since I have never heard of this word(I know,I lacked education,but "says defensively:That is why I am here to learn".),i thought she was refering to diets,so i was bewildered.The last time i check,I was sure we were to all take interpersonal communication this sem.

But never mind,if this was a class on diets,then I am all ears.I could do with a little healthy living. But anyway,she thought us about Nature of Interpersonal Communication which is sub divided into 3 categories: Dyadic Primacy ,Dyadic Coalitions and Dyadic Consciousness.
According to Joseph Devito,dyadic primary can be define as fellows:
The significance or centrality of the two-person group in interpersonal communication, even when there are many more people interacting.
Dyadic Coalition is a two person group formed from a larger group to achieve a particular goal. For example, people coming together to do a drama.
Dyadic Consciousness is an awareness among two people that an interpersonal pairing exists between them.For example,if you think that you are in a relationship wih a certain somebody(obviously,the feeling has to be mutual),you would mostly do what regular couples do(hold hands).

Here is a little quiz from Joseph DeVito.(Citations:Joseph Devito,Introduction to Interpersonal Communication (IC) Chapter 1 )
1. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
Good Communicators are born, not made.
Answer: False.
Effective communication is a learned skill.
2. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
The more you communicate, the better at it you will be.
Answer: False.
It’s not the amount of communication, but the quality.
3. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
Opening lines such as “Hello, how are you?” have an important interpersonal purpose.
Answer: True
These lines actually open channels of communication and establish rules.
4. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
In your interpersonal communication, you should always be open, empathic, and supportive.
Answer: False
Each interpersonal communication situation is unique and requires different approaches.
5. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
When verbal and non-verbal messages contradict each other, people believe the non-verbal message.
Answer: True
People are more likely to believe your body language.
6. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
When communicating with people from other cultures, it is best to ignore any differences.
Answer: False
Members of a different culture are likely to interpret different meanings and rules for the exchange.
7. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
Effective interpersonal communicators do not rely on “power tactics.”
Answer: False
It is extremely difficult to eliminate power from interpersonal communication.
8. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
Fear of public speaking is normal.
Answer: True
Most speakers are nervous. We need to manage, not eliminate our fear.
9. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
When there is conflict your relationship is in trouble.
Answer: False
Most relationships have conflict. We need to learn to deal with it effectively.
10. What Do You Believe about Interpersonal Communication?
True or False?
Even if two people are in a long-term relationship, they still need to communicate their needs or wants.
Answer: True
We are not mind readers. Open and honest communication is essential.
Happy quizing!=]
And then,we have online communication.I am sure all of us what that is.Examples are forums,mailing groups,emails,blogs and social sites,chat groups and instant messaging.

An early edition of chap goh meh ...

Hello! people ..!!

for those who don't know what is chap goh meh, we have a simple definition for all of you

*Chap Goh Meh literally means the fifteenth in the Chinese Lunar New Year

most of you would have thought that the celebration starts on the the 15th day it self

well you all might just have misses out on one of the celebrations for chap goh meh tonite
yes! a day early than the usual celebration at Chinese town hall

this event was organized by the Penang Chinese Town Hall (PCTH)annually every year in front of the town hall at Jalan Masjid Kapitan Keling. The twist for this year was they held it a day early..

well this was actually to avoid the clashing with other similar events held on the 15th...

we know what you all must be thinking

" how to throw oranges into the sea from town hall ??"

right we all have thought of that question too...

the answer was right in front of our face when we got there ...

instead of throwing oranges into the salty sea the we're suppose to throw them in the wishing well

The wishing well has 4 sides and sections that will fulfill every body's needs

wealth, relationship, health and since the retrenching rate is going up they have one side for occupation too..!! just in case you just loose your job ..wish for a new and batter job ppl...

we take this event not just as an assessment or a celebration... but also as a contribution to charity

because you obviously don't bring your own Mandarin oranges there to make a wish .. we bought it there.

from the many volunteers there that was helping out selling Mandarin oranges to collect funds for the Foyi dialysis center, each donation is entitled to get an orange and the amount is up to individual.

we later also found out that the oranges thrown in the wishing well are recycled and used again .... instead to save cost and is batter for the environment

besides the wishing well they also have a wishing tree ... having the same concept of the "make a wish, make a change" fund collection of deserving patients at Adventist hospital.

anyone who make donation will receive a leaf where they can write down a wish and hang it on the wishing tree.

other programmes include :

• Lion dance and chinga perdormance


• Baba Johny and the Nyonya Belles


• Dance performance


• Drums Performance


• Dragon Dance


• Lion Kings vying on the 18 feet high rack

our thoughts after coming back form this even is that any celebration can also be charitable... and environmentally friendly

we don't need to always stick to the old traditions of throwing oranges in the sea ...

the concept of the wishing well is just as good ...

moreover in this way everybody is happy ..killing 3 birds with just 1 stone

1. we gotten a change to make our wish

2. at the same time doing some charity donation

3. we don't need to make our sea anymore dirty as it is ..

at the end of the day every1 were happy even the oranges ...

if you have missed out on yesterday's nite celebration is ok ! there always next year ..

but ..

remember to catch tomorrow's celebration at esplanade by our state government

go and join the fun!! whether if you're looking for your other half, or already found yours is an even not to be missed ..!!

see you there ...!

Lesson 4, February 5th, 2008

Hello from the classroom(or whatever you want to call it).

this is a little awkward as i do not blog.but never mind...

Today we learned about cultures.

More than often,culture is strongly associated with religion.

According to our classmates:

1.Muslim men are allowed to marry more than 1 wife while a woman is not allowed to because she would not know who the father of her baby is(a very interesting and wise way to see it).

We learned that in Islam,nobody is forced to obey the Quran,they all have a choice to make.

2.A few of our classmates mention that they do not wash their hair and cut their nails on certain days. They would not go out after 7p.m. at certain times.

3.During the hungry ghost festival,people are not encourage to go to the beach and eat the food offered to the "passed-on".

4.When we pass by a funeral,we are advised to turn our face the other way,as a mark of respect and as to not offend the deceased.

5.Kids are also advised not to attend funerals as according to a classmate,they have the same brain frequency as spirits and are able to see them.

6.During a baby's full moon,(when he reaches one month old),his parents will give a box of delicacies(containing yellow sticky rice,2 red eggs,chicken curry,ang ku(a red sticky kuih)..... other young children are not encouarge to take it as they are believed to become stubborn.

7.Litle indian boys will pierced thier ears after turning one month old.This is believed to bring a certain imperfection so that they will look less appealing to the spirits.

to be continued.......

Homework :

1.Ethnic Identity

2.Enculturation

3.Acculturation

Hi

Hi everyone,

I would like to tell you guys that this is the blog for the First Group from the
Interpersonal Communication
subject.

We will always keep this blog update from time to time.