my own culture?

what is my culture??
what did my family did most of the time that can resemble my culture?
well, the most of my family did is only ABOUT FOOD!!!!!!!!
our culture is about food. YUMMY SUPER DELICIOUS FOOD..
yuppzz!! it is only about food...
My mum is a great cook.. but she she only cook once awhile but once she start cooking she will cook for 10-20 people's food. ( Noted : my family only have 5 members =)) But, of course not the 5 of us finish up the whole food that she cook of course. She will be one of the Santa Clause (except it is a Food Santa Clause) and give a bowl or a plate of her dishes to my neighbors, or my relatives will come to have the yummy delicious food. Normally, neighbors, my family, my cousins will gather up just for food and it is a tradition. We go back to our hometown also just for food. During the Chinese New Year, what we do basically is only a bout FOOD!! (haha)
Breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper including tea time wouldn't be missed!!
My grandmother also a great cook so all her daughter and sons, including in-laws and her grandchildren will be feed with whole lots of foods and dishes. So in my culture, we actually LIVE TO EAT.. not we eat in order to live =).
No matter when, or where, or even time we can eat and feast at any time we want because our life is only about.

p/s - I know i grow bigger and larger because of my mum and my grandma =)

Types of Relationships: Friendship

Friendship is defined as rule-governed relationship that parties enter into by choice and it is an interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard.

The types of friendships are:

*Reciprocity, characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.
*Receptivity, characterized by a comfortable and positive imbalance in the giving and receiving of rewards; each person's needs are satisfied by the exchange.
*Association, a transitory relationship, more like a friendly relationship than a true friendship

Friendships serve a variety of needs and give us a variety of values, among which are the values of utility, affirmation, ego-support, stimulation, and security. It demands vary from between collectivist and individualist cultures. Women share more and are more intimate with same-sex friends than are men. Men's friendships are often built around shared activities rather than shared intimacies.

P/S: Dang! Can't upload any pictures.

MY SELF CONCEPT.....

Everyone sees who I appear to be, but only a few know the real me. You can only see what I choose to show, there is so much more you don’t know…..

Others see me as very friendly, loud sometimes, love shopping, cheerful. Some people even say I am very arrogant girl, talk sarcastically, secretive. This is what known to others and me. This is people’s perception about me. Well some are true and some are not…..

I am a friendly girl, but not to everyone. I am always careful with the people I mix around with. I always care about other people’s feelings; I make sure that I don’t hurt anyone. Even when it comes to help, if someone were to come and ask me for a favor I can never say no, unless I really can’t do it. That’s me, but not everyone knows this….

There is a lot more about me that not everyone knows…
I am not a girl who really socializes with everyone. I prefer to stay at home most of the time, be by myself in my room. I am a very secretive person and I give more importance to love and care, but not everyone realize this. If someone is nice to me I will be extremely nice to them, but if not… it will be the opposite side.

When we did this self concept thing in our class where we have to write about our self; our open pane and hidden pane… it was me the one who wrote “forgives but never forgets”… no one was able to guess it was me… until now… ;)

POWER

Power is the ability to influence the attainment of goals of an individual or a group. Power is not a characteristic of any one individual; rather, it is defined in terms of relationships and transactions between people. Power is crucial to the achievement of individual goals, the resolution of conflicts, and to communication competency within a group. Ways people give up their power are by being over-polite, backing down from an argument, using a title (such as Doctor or Professor) when addressing another, allowing interruptions when speaking, and specific clothing choices can also suggest a loss of or way people give up power to others. A power resource is something that either helps with or hinders the achievement of goals.

Types of power:
Referent power
- Is based upon the identification with the person who has the resources, or the desire to be like that person. It could be regarded as imitative power, which is often seen in the way children imitate their parents. Referent power derives from your subordinates’ identification or association with you. You have this power by simply being "the chief." People identify with the ideals you stand for. The chief has a pre-established image. You can enhance that image by exhibiting charisma, courage, and charm. An improved image increases your referent power. Always be aware of how others will perceive your actions. A negative image in the eyes of others will lessen your power and render you ineffective. Maintain a positive image!

Legitimate power
– Is based on agreement on commonly held values which allow one person to have power over another person, for example an older person or one who has longer service or is seen to be charismatic. Legitimate power comes from the authority of your rate and position in the chain of command. You use this power in day-to-day business. Although legitimate power increases with added responsibilities, you can decrease that power if you fail to meet all of your responsibilities.

Expert power
– Is based upon one person perceiving that the other person has expert knowledge of a given subject and is a recognized authority in a given situation e.g. the engineer in a building project. Expert power comes from your knowledge in a specific area through which you influence others. You have expert power because your subordinates regard you as an expert in your rating. Subordinates may also have this type of power. When you combine expert power with other types of power, you will find it an effective tool in influencing others. However, when you use it by itself, you will find it ineffective.

Coercive power
- This enables a person to mediate punishments for others. For example, to dismiss, suspend, reprimand them, or make them carry out unpleasant tasks. Coercive power results from the expectation of a negative reward if your wishes are not obeyed. For example, suppose you have counseled a subordinate twice for minor infractions of regulations. At the third counseling session, you threaten the subordinate with NJP. At the next occurrence of the un- desirable behavior, you place the subordinate on report. Coercive power works, but is not the preferred method of leading subordinates. It works best if used when all else fails and you feel sure you can carry through with a threat. Before giving a threat, you should have some insight as to how the CO will handle the case. You do not want to recommend maximum punishment only to have the CO dismiss the case at mast.

Information Power
- When an individual has information that the others cannot easily access. Informational power depends on your giving or withholding of information or having knowledge that others do not have. Use informational power when giving orders to subordinates. Give orders in such a manner that your subordinates presume the order originated at your level.

Reward power
- Extent to which an entity can control the dispensing of rewards or benefits. Reward power stems from your use of positive and negative rewards to influence subordinates. Positive rewards range from a smile or kind word to recommendations for awards. Negative rewards range from corrective- type counseling to placing a person on report.

Punishment power
- Shows that use and effects of punishment are significantly altered by average levels of reward power and punishment power in power-dependence relationship. The power-balancing effect of punishment is most likely to occur when an actor lacking reward power has punishment power that is stronger in relation to the other actor's punishment power but that is weaker in absolute strength.

Significance of Silence

Silence is a relative or total lack of audible sound.

Silence is complex.It is used in music,debate,law,spiritually,commemorative silence and complete silence.It communicates important meanings.

Silence allows:

i)The speaker time to think and to formulate his thought into coherent words(verbal communication)

ii)The receiver is allowed time to prepare or anticipate the message

For further reference:http://www.ablongman.com/samplechapter/0205353908.pdf

Please do take time to look at it.

Sometimes,silence can make you feel uncomfortable.Admittedly silence makes me feel uncertain of myself(because there may be no clear instructions given on how I should conduct myself).There is a saying that goes "silence can be deafening".It reveals a silence or lack of response that reflects something significant, such as disapproval or a lack of enthusiasm.

Significance of TIME (social clock)

Have you ever felt pressured to conform to society's conventions?If you have,then what You experienced is a need to abide by the social clock(socially define time).

Every society is age-graded,and every society has a system of social expectations concerning age-appropriate behaviour.When an individual reaches a certain age,he is expected to be on "time" in meeting certain expectations that his particular social group has place on him.

For instance,there are people who at say, when they reached the age of 25 would start to feel the "need" to get married(Bless those poor souls).

Certainly,it would be easy to say that all you need to do is to defy society conventions.But for those who are in this predicament,I can only pray for you and that God will give you the grace to be gracious to those 'aunties' who constandly live in fear that your ovaries are drying up(please excuse the crudeness) and that you are long past child-bearing phase.You feel like singing her the britney spears's song "my prerogative".But she is still your aunty,you must grit your teeth and be polite.

So what happens if you actually succeed in not succumbing to the pressure of marrying?(NEVER EVER marry for the sake of marrying,maybe you can pull a marriage 'stunt' for a few days,but for a lifetime*breaks out in sweat*,i do not think so).Unless,you move to Papua New Guinea,chances are that you are likely to still see your 'aunties' when you meet for social events.

I think there will certainly come a time when the pressure has lessen(maybe,a glimmer of hope that they have given up on you).

But you know for certain that your life is in God's hand and that He holds your future.

Significance of Facial Expression

As i was looking for information to write concerning facial expressions,I came across an interesting statement.

Facial Expressions Of Emotion Are Innate, Not Learned

The picture is to prove my point,I doubt the that anybody took the time to teach the baby how to strike a post with different facial expressions.(*thinks to self*"This baby might be a potential model when he/she grows up.)

ScienceDaily (Dec. 30, 2008) — Facial expressions of emotion are hardwired into our genes, according to a new study. The research suggests that facial expressions of emotion are innate rather than a product of cultural learning. The study is the first of its kind to demonstrate that sighted and blind individuals use the same facial expressions, producing the same facial muscle movements in response to specific emotional stimuli.(oops,i am going off course here)

Back on track,Culture is the key to interpreting emotions.Over here I am not contradicting myself due to the above statement.The above statements means that specifically certain emotions,for example when one is fearful,he does not exactly look very serene or at peace.He is also very unlikely to grin.This can be proven through watching a baby.

Anyway,Research has uncovered that culture is a determining factor when interpreting facial emotions. The study reveals that in cultures where emotional control is the standard, such as Japan, focus is placed on the eyes to interpret emotions. Whereas in cultures where emotion is openly expressed, such as the United States, the focus is on the mouth to interpret emotion.

The line"your eyes are the windows to your soul" can be used in this context."It is quite interesting and appropriate that a culture that tends to masks its emotions(admittedly asians are not very expressive) such as Japan, would focus on a person's eyes when determining emotion, as eyes tend to be quite subtle.

In the United States, where overt emotion is quite common, it makes sense to focus on the mouth, which is the most expressive feature on a person's face."

The following are some terms about facial expression:

Illustrators:Nonverbal movements that accompany /reinforce verbal message.

eg:You nod your head when you say yes.

Regulators:Nonverbal movements that control the flow or pace of communication

eg:You yawn when you are bored

Significance of Touch in Culture

Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.- Carl G. Jung

In my 19 years of life(okay,fine,specifically,close to 19 years of life) I have yet to come across anyone who has never been touched(in saying this I mean physically).First,let us go to the basics. Exactly what is touch?

Tactile communication refers to what we communicate through the sense of touch -- through touching, or not touching each other in various ways. Touch may be the most primal or basic form of communication.For example,we all know babies are unable to talk in the wee early stages of life(duh!).

Anyone ever seen are a talking baby,say,who is two months old?Therefore we use touch as a means of communication to an infant. When a babby cries,normally no one would lauch in a heart rending speech on the 'Virtues of requesting politely for your milk'.A person would just pick the baby up and start cooing while patting him/her on the back.

That is the relatively normal thing to do where most cultures are concern. A creditable resource reports that one major difference in childbearing between the west and east is the degree to which an infant is held by his nanny or mother.In the US, most infants spend most of their time in their cribs,playpen or stroller while most asian babies are carried most of the time(eg.A mother with a sarong carrying her baby,you get the picture).

Tactile messages tend to convey aspects of emotional and attitudinal states. Touch can convey anger, love, warmth, coldness, hostility, etc.

While tactile communication is basic to human beings, that doesn't mean that culture and context don't enter into the equation of meaning. While we all respond to touch regardless of culture, HOW we react to a touch will vary depending on culture, life experience, and so on.

Nowadays,when one says the word "touch",the first thing that may come to mind is something erotic right?(o come on,there is no need to squirm and blush).Anyway,most physical touch is not erotic at all. It can be:

a)The woman who holds her grieving friend

b)A high five amongst friends

On a concluding note,A touch is a very powerful and comforting form of means of human communication.

LOVE...

What is love?
Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. Love is not a single feeling but an emotion built from two or more feelings. Anything vital to us creates more than one feeling, and we also have feelings about our feelings (and thoughts about our feelings). Love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Three ingredients in love:
1) Intimacy- sharing, communication, mutual support and trust.
2) Passion- not just physical, but also emotional.
3) Commitment- long term focus.

TYPES OF LOVE:

EROSE LOVE

-the Greek god of love and sexual desire. It’s a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment: stereotype of romantic love.

LUDUS LOVE
-ludus is called game-playing love. It is like the love of a knight for a princess. There are playful interactions here but little intimacy or deep intensity.

STORGE LOVE
-storge exemplifies friendship-based love. There is strong companionship and shared values here but little physical intimacy.

PRAGMA LOVE
-pragma, a combination of storge and ludus love, refers to practical or logical love in which someone actively searches for a partner with certain characteristics.

MANIA LOVE
-mania is also known as troubled love. This love has jealousy and dependance(often called co-dependancy), great intensity, some intimacy, and many psychological symptoms related to the relationship. It is a highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem.

AGAPE LOVE
-it is a selfless altruistic love; spiritual; of giving without asking anything in return, and of sacrificing oneself for one’s partner. Many would consider it to be the purest form of love.

All couples share some of each of these forms of love. However, some individuals and thus, couples, focus more on certain types of love styles.

Conflict

Stop reading for a moment and make a list of as many different conflicts as you can think of. Include conflicts that you've experienced personally and those that involve the others.
Sometimes there's angry shouting like when parents yell at their children.

In other words, conflict involves restrained discussion, as in labor-management negotiations or court trials. Sometimes conflict are carried on through hostile silence, as in the unspoken feuds of angry couples. Finally conflicts may wind up in physical fighting between friends, enemies, or even total strangers.
Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.

Style of Conflict.

Win-Lose
- One person gets the satisfaction while the other comes up short.
- People resort to this method of resolving disputes when they percieve a situation as being an "either-or" one : Either I get my way, or you get yours.
- The most clear cut examples of win-lose situation are certain games, such as baseball or poker which include a winner or a loser.
Eg : two coworkers seeking a promotion of a same job
: a couple arguing over how to spend their limited money.
- the "you" that win in a problem is the Dominance.

Lose-Lose
- neither side of each other is satisfied with the outcome
-lose-lose is a farily common way to ahndle conflicts.
- in many instance the partners will both strive to be winners, but as a result of the struggle, both wind up losers.
- a nation that gains military victory at the cost of thousands of lives, large amounts of resources, and a damaged national consciousness hasn't truly won much.
- most of s have seen battles of pride in which both people strike out and both loses and suffer in the end

Compromise
- gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals
- compromising each other may be better than losing everything because this approach hardly sees to deserve the positive image it has with some people.
Eg : conflict between one person's desire to smoke cigarettes and another's need for clean air. - this win-lose outcomes on this issue are obvious : either the smoker abstains or the nonsmoker gets polluted lungs or neither option is a very satisfying one but a compromise in which the smoker gets to enjoy only a rare cigarette or must retreat oudoors and in which the nonsmoker still must inhale some fumes.

Win-Win
- is different in approach and outcomes from both win-lose and lose-lose styles.
- in this case, the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved.
- not only do the partners avoid trying to win at each other's expense, but there's also a belief that work together can provide a solution in which all reach their goals without needing to compromise.
Eg : a boss and her employees get into a conflict over scheduling. The employees often want to shift the hours they're scheduled to work so that they can accomodate personal neeeds, whereas the boss needs to be sure that the operation is fully stagged at all times. After some discussion, they figure out the solution that satisfies everyone. The boss works up a motly master schedule indicating the hours during which each employee is responisble for being on the job. Employees are free to trade hours among themselves, as long as the operation is fully staffed.

Conflict is a natural and unavoidable phenomena that occur in any relationship. It challenge us how to deal with it effectively so that it strenghtens a relationship rather than weakens it.

Verbal Communication

The basis of communication is the interaction between people. Verbal communication is one way for people to communicate face-to-face. Some of the key components of verbal communication are sound, words, speaking, and language.

At birth, most people have vocal cords, which produce sounds. As a child grows it learns how to form these sounds into words. Some words may be imitative of natural sounds, but others may come from expressions of emotion, such as laughter or crying. Words alone have no meaning. Only people can put meaning into words. As meaning is assigned to words, language develops, which leads to the development of speaking.

The actual origin of language is subject to considerable speculation. Some theorists believe it is an outgrowth of group activities such as working together or dancing. Others believe that language developed from basic sounds and gestures.

Over 3,000 languages and major dialects are spoken in the world today. The development of languages reflects class, gender, profession, age group, and other social factors. The huge variety of languages usually creates difficulties between different languages, but even within a single language there can be many problems in understanding.

Through speaking we try to eliminate this misunderstanding, but sometimes this is a very hard thing to do. Just as we assume that our messages are clearly received, so we assume that because something is important to us, it is important to others. As time has proven this is not at all true. Many problems can arise is speaking and the only way to solve these problems is through experience.

Speaking can be looked at in two major areas: interpersonal and public speaking. Since the majority of speaking is an interpersonal process, to communicate effectively we must not simply clean up our language, but learn to relate to people.

In interpersonal speaking, etiquette is very important. To be an effective communicator one must speak in a manner that is not offending to the receiver. Etiquette also plays an important role in an area that has developed in most all business settings: hierarchical communication. In business today, hierarchical communication is of utmost importance to all members involved.

The other major area of speaking is public speaking. From the origin of time, it has been obvious that some people are just better public speakers than others. Because of this, today a good speaker can earn a living by speaking to people in a public setting. Some of the major areas of public speaking are speaking to persuade, speaking to inform, and speaking to inspire or motivate.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith is the sixth and final most futile installment by the talented producer/director, George Lucas. He tried to recreate a prequel trilogy to match or surpass the mind blowing saga he unleashed almost twenty eight years ago but alas, he failed miserably. I watched this movie with apprehension, hoping I’d be proven wrong. Nay, I was right. The movie is below the bridge, in the muddy waters and stinking of unwanted garbage.

See, it started with the wooden Anakin Skywalker (to even call him wooden would be an affront to puppets everywhere) and Obi - Wan Kenobi (his mischievous ways saved him) rescuing Chancellor Palpatine (the droning and rubber faced villain) during the war between their Republic and Separatist Alliance. Anakin was secretly married to Senator Padme (the vacant eyed and weak so called fighter) and to listen to her talk about their secret marriage (Jedi’s can’t marry) is to redefine pretentious. It was a heresy! Anakin Skywalker, the innocent, naïve and responsible Jedi knight turned into a pompous, ass – kissing, power loving and arrogant man. That change in character if did not shock me, actually gave me a huge disappointment. It was a lame excuse to re-create the drama.


When Chancellor Palpatine revealed to the bird brained Anakin that he practices the dark arts, the young Jedi was seduced by the power he could wield if he were to practice it. The Chancellor takes Anakin into his confidence and tried to draw him into the dark side. See, fear is always what was wrought in Anakin’s mind after dreaming about his pretty yet weak willed wife suffering and close to death. Anakin’s heart kept changing all throughout the movie with him in this scene facing uncertainty and insecurity. The Chancellor pressed Anakin saying that if he were to become a practitioner of the dark arts, he’ll save Padme. I was hoping, nurturing the hope, you can say that Revenge of the Sith would spin our belaboured heads around with the dark magic of Darth Vader but alas, once again I failed to perceive my intuition that this movie will make me cry blood.


Anakin, with one foot in the dark side turn into a full fledged dark one after he chopped off Mace Windu’s arm, giving the Chancellor the chance to deliver the death blow. He was ordered to kill all Jedi’s, even the young ones. And with the delight of some of the morbid fans, he slaughtered them in cold blood. With his paranoid behaviour (he should get a shrink), he suspected Padme with fraternizing with the enemy (poor ‘ol Jedis’) and with Obi –Wan, his master and mentor. He was never like that before. The young love struck teenager in Clone Wars was innocent (pitiful actually) and filled with raging hormones.

Obi – Wan went to Padme’s place (no wonder Anakin suspects something… Obi’s this rugged Jedi who is very accomplished man and spending time with his wife) and told her the truth of the whole situation and took her away. Anakin fought with Obi –Wan in the lava planet, Mustafa and Obi – Wan defeated Anakin with a stroke of deadly luck. Poor Anakin fell into the lava flow, and became a misshapen man with no arms, legs and burns all over his body. Chancellor sensed that he was in danger and went out to rescue him. Padme, spirited away with Obi – Wan, gave birth to twin, Leia & Luke. She, unfortunately being weak and broken hearted died in child birth. Anakin was revived by the medics, and was fitted back together, Frankenstein style and he is now known as Darth Vader, half man, half machine.

Thus ends the epic movie, Revenge of the Sith, hoping that it was never made in the first place...

The Girl Called Sharon

The first time I saw her, she was wearing a super large jacket that could’ve covered her tiny frame twice around. She also slept in class that very first day. Her name was Sharon. Little did I know we would become fast friends. We lived in the same area, ate breakfast at the same place, went to the same market yet for the first time we met, it was in college. Ironic, huh?

“Where do you live?”

“Sg. Dua area. You?”

“Samelah! I also live there. Near super tanker right?”

“Walaueh! Never see you there oso...”

Sharon, a friend who cared less about money, who loved eating tom yam noodles yet hate the spiciness, who was an extremely dedicated worker at Starbucks and always making us laugh with her spontaneous wittiness. I’ll bet she never expected her life to go the way it did and I dare say she made great friends while she was here in SEGi.

Death seems to be so beguiling when you’re talking about it, never expecting to be caught in a corner with the words in your mouth, wishing you could take what you said about Death back. Nay, it’s not that easy for Death comes for anyone regardless of race and religion. There is no more survival of the fittest but to what extent should we call it that way? Survival of the species? No, no, let’s keep it simple. Everyone dies. But no one expects it to happen to one of their friends. It happened to us.

Let us cherish her memory, uphold her with praise and pray that she is in a better place. Rest in peace, Sharon.

The Class Clown

Midterm was supposed to be held yesterday in class 606 but instead it was postponed. It was to be based on the movie Hotel Rwanda. A rather sad and violent movie, I thought. Makes you think, though. Like I said, midterm was cancelled and Yee Chern was late. We decided to play a trick on him by telling him that the midterm was over and he had to present Hotel Rwanda in a spontaneous presentation.

He did. And he managed to ‘clownify’ the movie by narrating it in a jesting way. Or I would say, Yee Chern’s way: The Way of the Chern.

Class ended rather badly with Ms. Cheryl stalking out. She gave us tips and that was that. Hope she cooled down, though.

Art; My Life, My Culture

Art.

One problem it has is the difficulty of defining it. The earliest definition would be that art is created or is a reproduction of the worldly images. For instance, the aborigines in Australia create art (paintings or sculpture) in accordance to what they see, hear and believe. Everything was done because they figured if they were to draw/sculpt; the thing/animals/humans would be forever living on. Now we have fine arts, music, literature, dances and so on.

Art is subjective.

I can draw a girl sitting under a swing in the middle of a thunderstorm. My interpretation of it might be that she is blind and deaf and the strong winds make her happy. Or I can say that she loves thunderstorms and wants to feel the rain on her face and the wind in her hair. Or she is homeless and can’t go anywhere else. Or that the little girl is actually a life-size doll. Or that she is suicidal and she wants to die by getting strike by lightning. See what I mean? Art can be interpreted with a variety of meanings. It doesn’t make it wrong to say that the girl is actually a boy with long hair. Heh.

My family is very diverse and my art is a combination of both eastern and western culture. I’m an abstracted artist, very contemporary and I use a lot of space and light/shadows to define the picture. This means, I like graffiti art. People have the wrong impression of graffiti art; they seem to think graffiti = gangsters. We use space and focal point to establish our artwork. It has mechanic and science in it. We use illusion. I wouldn’t say I’m a great graffiti artist; I’m an amateur actually. But I love street art. It showcases Realism, truth and morality in a sense.

Meh...

I’m not going to write too much. I’m not even sure anyone’s going to read this but heck; art is my expression however unconscious am I to it when I draw. Literature, like I said before is also considered an art form. I write and I draw. I’m not at the top of my game now, that’s why I’m babbling but bear with me for a moment and take some time to absorb what I said. It is my interpretation and my perception. You can have yours and I respect is all the same.

My Own Self Concept..

What to known to others and myself.. ( OPEN PANE)
1)I am super loud!!!
2) I might talk alot xD
3) Someone that loves to shop a lot.. literally A LOT!!
4) Big money SPENDER!!
5) I am fat =)
6) I am bad tempered
7) I get frustrated very easily..

What known to others only. (BLIND PANE)
1) cheerfull * i am??? *
2) very spontaneous *WOW*
3) respond fast
4) i make things complicated
5) I am tall
6) Straight forward... because i am the person that actually really very straight forward.. and i will just say it out without thinking because i don't keep my frustration inside me and therefore i might hurt people sometimes but i don't mean it because i just wan to throw my frustration away. I just talk bout it but i don't realise that i hurt people until people feel i am bad and feel uneasy about it.

What know to myself only (HIDDEN PANE)
1) I feel people don't understand what i am talking about
2) I am very emotional..
3) I thinks i am annoy everyone
4) I don't give ignorance to the world.
5) I don't mean the bad things that i have said
6) I thinks I am actually a very bad person and I think I hurt a lot of people before

What not known to me, and others.(UNKNOWN PANE)
Something that i wont know but in the future I will. I might own a big house or a big car.
I might get a rich boyfriend? I might be a psychologist or work as a admin or other jobs. This is the things that I want to own but I won't know after I actually success in doing it.

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

An interpersonal relationship is a relatively long-term association between two or more people. This association may be based on emotions like love and liking, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships take place in a great variety of contexts, such as family, friends, marriage, acquaintances, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and churches. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole. Although humans are fundamentally social creatures, interpersonal relationships are not always healthy. Examples of unhealthy relationships include abusive relationships and codependence.
A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent-child relationship. Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family, or a mayor and a town. Finally, groups or even nations may have relations with each other, though this is a much broader domain than that covered under the topic of interpersonal relationships.
A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic or intimate relationship, or a parent-child relationship. Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle and a family.
All relationships involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, anything that changes or impacts one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

How to maintain a relationship?
There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.

1. Tell the truth. Truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac and a great way to create connection with your partner. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I feel scared that we get so busy with other things that we forget about creating close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.

2. Appreciate yourself and your partner. Appreciation means "to grow in value, or to be sensitively aware of." Take time to understand just what it is that you like about yourself, and your partner. Saying for example, "I am doing a good job as a parent by taking time to hug the kids in the morning before they go off to school." or "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your job." Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!

3. Listen. All humans crave being seen and heard. Being with your partner, and really listening to them can be magical for you both. Often, we want to fix their problems, but it is much more powerful to listen. Saying, "Wow, I can understand you are frustrated." or "That must have been hard on you." Let your partner know you're hearing them.

4. Create romance within yourself first. We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when 'you' show up in that way. For example, create your own romantic mood--dress, put on music, prepare sensuous foods, take some time to love and appreciate yourself. It will not take long for your partner to join in the fun!

5. Ask for what you want. Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them (You would be surprised at how often they are unaware of this.) Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.

6. Bring play back into your relationship. Levity is a sexy thing. If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have to do, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you will not feel romantic. Laugh about the ways that you take your self out of a romantic mood, and soon, you will be back in it.

7. Speak your partner's love language. We often become confused and disappointed by expecting the other person to do such and such romantic things. Do to your partner the things they like as well as you telling them what 'you' like, want, and expect. When you fulfill their needs and desires, you will end up receiving the same in return!

8. Accept each other unconditionally, respect each others wishes and dislikes. Keep the mystery and fascination to each other. Love each moment as if it is the last.

Significance

Significance of Colour in Culture

Below is a link to what colours mean and signify in different culture:http://http://webdesign.about.com/od/colorcharts/l/bl_colorculture.htm

Imagine a world without colours....(and I do not mean black and white-They are colours to you know?)

Culture in itself makes our world colourful.It brings about a certain vibrancy and variety to life.As the saying goes variety is the spice of life.

Undeniably, Malaysia is definitely blessed with such vastness in cultures.Besides,Indian,Chinese and Malay cultures,we also have the Aborigines,

Portugese,Baba & Nyonya and other etnic cultures.

Personally,I love the colour of sarees,cudithar,salwar,jeepa and dhoti.The sight of little India is a sight to behold!

Just the other day,in ananda Bahwan,near the cashier,there were bindi colours situated on the table. Tina explain that the different colours signified different status in a person's life.For example,a married woman would wear a red pottu and the young girls and widows also will wear black pottu.

(Assistance on pottus were given by Geetha & Tina)

Blistered in Little India

No excuses. Yes, I know.

Personally, I'd say that going to Thaipusam or Cap Goh Meh is one hellavu interesting thing but the only problem is how to get there without overheating and dying in your car for being stuck in the traffic jam for four hours. So, I'd be honest and say that I went all the way there but didn't make it to the parade. I overheated. I had a migraine.

(What can I say? I can't crawl on my lips to the coconuts, no? I was just being realistic.)

Nay, I went to Thaipusam in spirit.

I think I'll just discern what Thaipusam means in my own words and what I think it actually symbolizes. Here's the story:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land there lived the Devas (good people) and the Asuras (bad people) and they are waging an infernal war between themselves. Because the Devas were so tired of the Asuras attacking them without mercy, they begged for Lord Shiva to help them and as what Gods would do to hapless folks, he agreed to help them. Lord Shiva opened up his forehead and out came Lord Murugan who wields the Nyanya Vel (golden spear). Lord M fought the meanest and cruelest Asuras, Soorapadme and a fierce battle ensued. He won, as expected or we will not be celebrating Thaipusam.

An Indian culture. Very like my own yet so foreign.

Concept of the Self

Time would tell if I manage to keep up this pace. Never did I thought I'd change so drastically until I couldn't recognise myself anymore. Perhaps, the empirists philosophers were right; experience adds to knowledge and my experiences are far more than a normal person would've have acheived at his/her age. Not bragging, no, I'm just telling the truth.

I always wonder what would people think when they see me, what their first impression is? I'd get a variety of answers: "You look aloof" or "You keep a certain distance around others (a hand span away) or "You're approachable and funny" or "Damn, you're cold!". So many different ones and I feel as though I've replicated myself and distributed it all around for people to share.

What I think I know about myself (on the surface, however) is that I am approachable, a good listener, too serious at times, a hardcore reader, extremely open minded and liberal. But that is just the surface. Well, I think it's not even on the surface; it's hovering above the surface. When people finally get to know me, they are suprised to know how passionate I am when it comes to things that I feel is important to fight about. Oh, and yes, I am kind of aggressive. When talking nicely to someone who annoys me doesn't work, I automatically turn physical. That's a flaw I'm trying to absolve.

Playing games (PC, PS2 and such), war games (Black, Medal of Honor), first person (Splinter Cell, Hitman, Halo, CS...), strategic games (Red Alert, War of the Ring, Tiberian Sun ...etc) would put me in the category of the 'manly girl'. NOT a label I like. I am who I am. Experince made me so and I hope people wouldn't judge me for who they expect me to be. But they do and it's just part of life.

More to tell but my brain juices aren't working all that well. Perhaps when it's not sizzling, I'll come back and edit it. Better use of words and sentences. Oh, by the way, I've just been made Fayatte President. Heh.

Perception

What is Perception???

Perception is what we think or others think about others behavior, feeling, sense, thoughts and etc.
We are aware of anything around us.
We can perceive smell, thoughts, or basically anything. The senses that we can use is like smell, thoughts, sense, feel and the other senses as well.

Eg. What we can percieve??
The way we behave??
The way we act??
The way we talk??
Perceptions vary from person to person. Different people perceive different things about the same situation. But more than that, we assign different meanings to what we perceive. And the meanings might change for a certain person. One might change one's perspective or simply make things mean something else.
This is a famous picture. What does it look like to you?
Some people see a young lady looking away. Others see an old lady looking down. Depending on how you look at it, part of the picture might be the young woman's nose and eyelash, or it might be a wart on the old woman's nose. What is the young woman's ear might be the old woman's eye. What is the young woman's necklace might be the old woman's mouth. The picture hasn't really changed. You just emphasize different parts of it and assign them different meaning
The meaning of something will change when you look at it differently. You can look at anything differently and it will have a different meaning.
There is no fixed meaning to anything. You can always change perspectives and change meanings. Sometimes a certain thing might bring an entire different meaning to another.I personally think it depends alot on how we relate to our surroundings,how we respond to our environment etc.
Perception is the process of gathering information through our senses, organizing and making sense of it.
Previous experience and learning, attitudes and interests, needs and feelings, and the current situation all affect perception. All people do not "see" the same thing when looking at a visual image. Perception differs from individual to individual due to a variety of personal, socio-economical, and cultural differences.
Age, gender, race, and past experiences are examples of personal perception filters. Young children, teenagers, and adults "see" things differently.As they grow and develop, children learn to see and comprehend relationships and themes from visuals instead of simply seeing individual objects and shapes.

There are 4 types of perception which is :-
1) Sensation
2) Selection
3) Organiztion
4) Translation

1) Sensation - It is more to limitations of our organ sense. For example, hearing, talking, looking and the rest. The organizational factors are rules, policies, procedures, social factors and also social factors ( avoidance behavior)

2) Selection - Physical attributes which is the contrast, change, intensity or frequency. and for the Psychological Attribues is personality, interpersonal needs, emotions, expectation, beliefs.

3) Organization - The perception of organization is for those who have the similarity for example : color, size, personal characteristic and many more. It is also for those that have proximity liek time and spaces.

4)Translation - Perception of stereotyping, projectim, attribution, Halo J Herns effects.

What is self fullfiling prophecy??
It is about people's expectation given from another comment.
Eg : ( similar to the Law of Attraction) If i am told about how stupid i am, eventhough i am clever but in future i will slowly become stupid because i start to believe how stupid i am.
A person comment, or perception will change people into believing the person who actually they are not and slowly become the person.

What is implicit personality theory?
The general expectations that we build about a person after we know something of their central traits. For example when we believe that a happy person is also friendly.
Eg : I may assume intelligent people are arrogant, quiet people are timid and aggressive people are stupid.

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION (SOCIAL CLOCK)

What is social clock?

1. Stage models posited a linear set of stages that people progressed through over the course of alifetime.


2. Atimes culture will organised our social clock at specific of our life time- example, are people who have always been single viewed more negatively when they are middle-aged adults than when they are young adults
3. Have you ever heard someone say (or said yourself) "my clock is ticking." This is an example of a social clock which is a cultural specific timetable for events to occur. Events include marriage, having children, example, in some cultures it is expected that people be married in their teens.
4. This is an example of a social clock - in that cutlture they have an accepted timetable for when events are to occur.
5. Sometime our feelings will influence our behaviour.
6. Feel out of step

MY SELF CONCEPT....

I am writing a paper on how our self concept is derived from society, and the roles that we play. I am a very friendly preson....loves to make friends..but at times I am very choosy...especialy food vice...because of this my mum n me always quarrel..I love Western foods and Chinese foods..and things are not that spicy.....I am very secretive person because I dont like to share sarrow part of my life to others plus I dont want them to be sad..even happy moments I dont share too..I like to keep things within myself....I am a good listener..but I seldomly give feedback because I feel sometimes people will accept it sometimes dont....so I keep to myself....I love to dance indian classical dance..I get angry very fast can say short tempered....I like to think things out of the box...not the same old procedure....try something new...Not hurting people by talking rude is something I am...I am very sensitive person take things seriously sometimes and get hurt easily....thats all my self concept i guess so...

SHARON..SHARON..SHARON...

Sharon was a wonderful young girl...It is must unfortunate for all of us to lose such an amazing person...Myself and many others will never forget her...her laughs...the way she used to called the lecturers "teacher"...I cannot begin to imagine how this tragic turn must meke us feel....but please allow me to express my most sincere sympathy...Sharon will always have a special place in the hearts of many....Words can offer no true meaning in the face of such sadness...I heard the teardrop hit my pillow before I even knew I was crying......I am thinking that Sharon have a big hug again in Heaven where we will go later.....

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. Sharon thinking of you....hope your resting comfortably........She will truly be missed...

SALANGAI......

What is salangai? Salangai is something like anklet but in a bigger version where it is wear by the people who is dancing indian classical dance (bharatanatyam). There is 2 types of salangai,cloth and leather made. The salangai was worn by Lord Shiva during his recarnation to the earth. Where he dance the Rudra Thandavem in Sithirabam,India.

But thosedays people will wear this salangai for reduce tiredness because they use to walk very far.Which means thosedays there is no vehicle and transport so they normally walk all the way to reach their destiny.Therefore by using salangai,there is a rythm and sound when you move your legs so this makes them not to feel the tiredness so much hearing to the bytes. Even nowdays their use salangai for thaipusam where people who take up kavadi thir will wear salangai so they dont feel that much tired.

Salangai pooja is usually done when one has learnt Bharatanatyam for a few years and attained a good handle on talam. One is not allowed to wear their Salangai and perform until after the salangai pooja. On a Vijaya Dasami day, the family and friends get together at a temple, where pooja is done for the new salangai and the guru offers the same to the students.Then, the students wear their salangai for the first time and present a mini recital.

For reference, the nadais in dance are counted like so:
Chathushram (4)Thakadhimi Thakajhanu
Thishram (3)Thakita Thakita
Mishram (4+3)Thakadhimi Thakita
Khandam (5)Thaka Thakita
Sankeernam (4+5)Thakadhimi Thaka Thakita

THAIPUSAM IN PENANG 2009

Hindu devotees in Malaysia celebrated Thaipusam to mark the birth of Lord Murugan by going to several temples in the country, one of it is Penang Thanimalai Temple which I went there to celebrate this years Thaipusam.This event took 3 days which wll be on the 7,8 and FEB 2008.

7 FEB 2009

On the 7th that is called CHETTIPUSAM which means the CHETTIAR caste will celebrate on these day. But those days only the chetty will celebrate but now this have change everyone can celebrate. This night also the chairot from Thainimalai Murugan temple will bring Lord Murugan down the hill to the town. This is because Lord Murugan will come to the town to visit all the devotees and to grant their wishes. The devotees also will take up Kavadi on this night.

What is Kavadi? "Kavadi" appears to be a word of Tamil origin - a combination of the words 'kavi' and 'adi'. 'Kavi' means 'saffron' implying asceticism and 'adi' means 'foot' signifying pilgrimage. Taken together the significance of the word is very clear. The devotee takes a vow to live the life of an ascetic for a particular period and then, as the culmination, travels to the temple of Muruga by foot, bearing that symbol of purity - the "Kavadi."There are different kinds of "Kavadi" of which the most prevalent are " Annakkavadi", and "Palkavadi". "Annakkavadi" entails the devotee going barefoot from house to house, begging for food, not with the motive of satisfying his own hunger, but as offering to the Lord and his devotees. This custom helps in inculcating humility in the devotee who has to beg for food, whatever his social standing may be. In "Palkavadi" the devotee begs for milk, which is ultimately offered to the Lord and His devotees. There are several variations in the idea, but the basic objective is to destroy the devotees's ego, so that he comes nearer to Divinity.

On this night devotees is less compare to the day of thaipusam. Along the road to the temple we can see thaneerpanthal which means devotees put up tents and gives away free food and drinks for the crowd.The people who set up the thaneer panthal also start work well before Thaipusam. The design, the structure and the decorations are all drawn well before hand and the panthals are in many cases superb engineering feats.A statue of a deity takes centrestage in all thaneer panthal. The colourful lights make for brilliant panthals at night and add to the gaiety, not to mention the huge loudspeakers and the deafening music.

8 FEB 2009

This on the day of Thaipusam. Where the population people on this day is higher compare to the previous day. More kavadis and devotees with piercing around their bodies.

A man with pircings and skewers through his face enters a trance during the Thaipusam festival.According to another legend Lord Shiva and Parvati were involved in a cosmic dance on the Thaipusam day. It is said that all the gods assembled to watch this cosmic dance.

Along the roads also we can see people selling all types of things such as Gods pictures, songs and sweets etc.All the devotees normally who is taking kavadi or palgodam will wear yellow colour dress or dhothi.

9 FEB 2009

Which the day where the chairots will go out again to the town. This when people will break coconuts along the roads. As many as they want to. Then Lord Muruga will be back to Chetti temple where he is belongs from,which means the Lord Muruga statue belongs to the Chetti people.

Johari's window & I

The Johari Window, named after the first names of its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is one of the most useful models describing the process of human interaction.

It is a way of showing how much information you know about yourself & how much others know about you.

Open Pane-Things that is known to yourself and to others.
I love reading.
Hidden pane-Things that is known to myself but not others.
When I read,i am oblivous to other stuff that is goind on around me.(Most of the time,when I get 'sucked' into the book.) Reading is like an escape (I get to sort of 'tune-out')for me. Here is a little secret,sometimes I hide my books cause I am not really allowed to read when I am supposed to do my work.So if you were to come into my room and open my closet expecting to see clothes,a book might fall out.
Blind pane-Things that is known to others but not to myself.
A friend once told me,when I read,I am so into my book,that I do not pay attention when people talk to me.So sometimes, I do come across as being rude.
Unknown pane-Things that is not known to me or others.
Haha.This is the time when I can predict what will happen in near future.
I would love to see myself travelling around the world,and with a walk-in wardrobe,so huge the size that it looks like my personal heaven of clothes.(I might as well wish that I owned queenbay or gurney) and I would also go to Africa and third world countries for mission trips.Who knows?O yea!And not forgetting a whole collection of books to last me a life time.
Here is the intearactive Johari Window which you guys can do.http://kevan.org/johari.Have fun!